Anna Nicole Smith And Older Parenting

All the hallmarks of a successful marriage (one of them will be dead before the tree dries up)...MERRY CHRISTMAS...Oh Daddy...was it like this when Jesus was born? Cuz like...you were there, right?
All the hallmarks of a successful marriage (one of them will be dead before the tree dries up)…MERRY CHRISTMAS…Oh Daddy…was it like this when Jesus was born? Cuz like…you were there, right?

 

So my son asked me how old I was going to be when he turned 18 (60 years old, btw….67 for the other boy, my youngest) and I immediately thought of former living person Anna Nicole Smith.

Anna Nicole Smith – was, as you know, married (her second marriage btw-I guess the first guy was too young) to oil business mogul and non-mobile feeb J. Howard Marshall, 62 years her senior.

People speculated that she married him for his money, which she denied, because why would a silicone bimbo with no means of income want to be with a rich guy who has dirt on his one foot that is in the grave?

After he deep sixed, she sued his estate to get all of his cash, but then she died on February 8, 2007 in a Hollywood, Florida hotel room as a result of an overdose of prescription drugs.

James Howard Marshall II was an American businessman, university professor, attorney, federal government official, and feeb husband to Anna Nicole Smith during the last 14 months of his life. His estate became the subject of protracted litigation because Anna wanted her dead sugar daddy’s money to support her lavish lifestyle. His life spanned MORE than nine decades and almost the entire history of the oil industry. That’s a lot!

When he was born, the dinosaurs were still decomposing.

And he was born in Pennsylvania a long time ago (hint: The United States were still referred to as “The Colonies”), almost right after the first Thanksgiving, and he attended a private high school and then studied liberal arts at some old college, graduating in 1926…NINETEEN TWENTY SIX!!!!!

He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Yale Law School in 1931…

Then he was an Assistant Dean at Yale Law School and at the same time, he got a scholarship as a member of the …legal realist school of thought (huh?), and helped write an article entitled A Factual Study of Bankruptcy Administration and Some Suggestions (ie major dork)..then he became the Assistant Solicitor at the Department of Interior and authored the Connally Hot Oil Act of 1935……

BLAH BLAH BLAH ACHIEVEMENT ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND SUCCESS…..

He was married a few times and enjoyed lemonade with his petticoat dressed parasol carrying wives, strolling with them down Main Street hand in hand while listening to barbershop quartets singing “On Moonlight Bay” and “Sweet Adeline”. But in 1994, at the age of 89, he married 26-year-old model Anna Nicole Smith. Their marriage lasted fourteen months until his death.

Marshall died of natural causes (defined as: a naturally feathered down pillow found naturally stuffed down his throat, complete with nipple and breast marks obviously caused by some naturally hard silicone like substance pressing against it) in Houston, Texas on August 4, 1995.

Following Marshall’s death, Anna Nicole Smith (who died on February 8, 2007) became involved in a court battle with her former stepson, another older guy named E. Pierce Marshall (who died on June 20, 2006).

Everyone is dead now.

So what kind of a dad would he have been to his kids had he lived?

A SLOW MOVING ONE

….let me call you sweetheart **

**the above words sung under the light of the moon at the turn of the 1900’s, at a carnival with some guys and gals, eating popcorn and saying words like GOLLY!

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